Sister birthday

[Margaret]

I haven't been here in a little while, and I need to come back more often. I was hoping someone could tell me what they did when their sibling's birthday rolled around. My sisters birthday is in exactly one week and I do not know what to do. This wonderful thing we have with the internet is contributing to my grief in that I am getting reminders that her birthday is coming up, not that I could forget...this time. I appreciate any comments you all might have.

[rr74]

My brother died in 12 weeks ago & it would've been his 34th birthday in June, so his birthday was at a time when it was still very raw.

I was fortunate enough to get a compassionate day off work so that we could spend the day together as a family. We knew we needed to be together on that day but we had the dilemma of exactly what to do with ourselves. As it turned out, we took his son to the zoo on a nursery outing, it was the same trip he took with his wife and son last year. After that there was an England football match on TV, which he certainly would've been watching, so we watched that together. The day itself passed without major traumas, as we were able to be together, of course there were a few tears for what should've been. I found that the lead up & the anticipation of the day was worse than the day itself.

So I'd say try to mark the day in some way and surround yourself with people who understand your loss. Take care of your self ((((hugs))))

Rachel x

[Margaret]

Rachel, thank you for sharing that with me. You are right about the anticipation part, I am already dreading and yet oddly looking forward to the day. I can not be with my parents or other siblings as we are scattered, but hopefully I will be with my husband and kids and maybe some close friends. It is on a Saturday so I don;t have to worry about work, but I still don;t want to just sit around either.